Painful memories
by Quendolin
Summary: My version of what could ve happened at Shell Cottage, after Malfoy Manor. Mostly about how Ron is dealing with what had happened. CANON - R/HR - SLIDLY ANGST, MORE COMFORT AND A LITTLE ROMANCE. Short chapter, but more on their way. PLEASE R/R
1. Chapter 1

Hey, this is my version of what could have happened at Shell Cottage, after escaping from Malfoy Manor. I know, there are already a thousand of really good storys out there, but I

couldn´t resist to write my own one. So here it is. By the way I am from Germany, I tried my best to translate my original german version, so don´t be to harsh.

There will be two or three chapters, maybe more. SO ENJOY.

**DISCLAIMER**: Not mine, just the idea. 

* * *

It was way after midnight. Harry, Ron and Hermione had been through hell. Only a few hours ago, they were overwhelmed by Death Eaters and taken to Malfoy Manor.

And there finally happened, what Ron had feared the most since the beginning of their high-risk hunt for the Horcruxes. They had grabbed Hermione and tortured her. Bellatrix

Lestrange was trying to get something out of her and proved her with the Crutiatus-curse again and again and again. Hermione's cries still echoed in

Ron's ears. They were also the reason why he was now sitting in the dark kitchen of Bill and Fleur. He could not sleep. 

* * *

How could he? Every time he closed his eyes, he heard Hermione's agonizing screams. He could not stand it. He always tried to

protect her, but this time he could do anything. They had locked both, him and Harry in the basement, forced to listen, as Hermione was suffering.

Just then, he felt it very clear that, what had been for weeks and months previously hinted that he loved her. The physical pain she had experienced by this snake Lestrange, Ron

shared mentally. He suffered like a beast not to be able to do anything. He stood literally head, he had even tried to Apparate without a wand. How ridiculous - actually. But this

unspeakably strong feeling that reared in him getting bigger and bigger by every cry, literally to break out of him, let him come to such simple ideas.

After he realized that there was no quick solution to his problem, his heart seemed to break.

He could do anything, he was completely helpless and Hermione to fend for themselves. 

* * *

Even now, hours later, the thought of it weighed incredibly heavily on his shoulders. He knew that he was not guilty, after all, it was the Death Eaters, led by Bellatrix

Lestrange, who made himself a kick out of torturing Hermione. But he had always vowed to take care of his friend.

After he had previously left her in the lurch (although a certain Horcrux was not entirely innocent of it), he wanted to commit such a mistake ever again. And yet it had happened.

Ron rubbed his already burning eyes. He was tired, but he dared not lie down. Even though he knew she was safe now, up in the guest room of Bill and Fleur. It made no

difference. He rested his chin in his hands and stared into the darkness.

There were still hours until the sun would rose. And there was just one single thought in his head - a suffering Hermione. He hated himself for not being able to suppress this

thought. Maybe he simply would not. 

* * *

Somehow he felt it was kind of a punishment, it tortured him now, as the Death Eaters took it with Hermione, because he

could not help her. Sure, it was complete nonsense, but he could not help it. Slowly, a tear paved it´s way across his cheek.

While wiping it away with the sleeve of his shirt, Ron was sighing loudly. How should he come across just about all of this? He

would and could never forget what had happened in Malfoy Manor, which he was sure. 

* * *

And... review! PLEASE?


	2. Chapter 2

Now on... Chapter Number Two, enjoy.

**DISCLAIMER**: Still not mine.

* * *

Unnoticed by Ron, some other person was up this night. Hermione was awoken by a horrible nightmare and was now on her way to the kitchen.

She hoped to be able to get back to sleep by a sip of water. When she reached the kitchen, she heard noises coming out of it. The brunette stood at the open door and peered

through the narrow gap. The room was just illuminated by the moon, so she couldn't see much. After her eyes had become accustomed to the darkness, she was sure to see Ron

sitting there. Hermione thought for a moment whether she should just go into the kitchen, but then she heard more footsteps on the stairs. She slipped around the corner and stood

in complete darkness. The footsteps led into the kitchen. The person turned on the light and gasped loud.

"Man, Ronald, you can't just sit here in the dark. I nearly had a heart attack."

"Sorry." Ron muttered, without looking up.

Bill, Ron's eldest brother, sat down beside him and looked curious, but also concerned at the misery, which was sitting there.

"Trouble finding sleep?"

Ron just shook his head.

"Hey, you know perfectly well that you can talk to me about everything. Maybe you'll feel better?" Bill encouragingly pushed his brother's arm.

His eyes still at the table, Ron not immediately respond. But Bill was smart enough to push him any further, so they sat quietly for a while in the now brightly lit kitchen.

* * *

After a few minutes, Ron finally cleared his throat and began to speak in a husky voice.

"I still hear her screaming out loud." Then he went quiet again.

Bill nodded silently with his head, even though Ron was still staring at the kitchen table.

"As soon as I close my eyes, they echo through my head. Loud and painful. I can't stand it anymore." Ron now looked up. Bill could clearly see red eyes.

The whole thing must have been the hell to Ron. Come to think, Bill never asked how he felt. With all the excitement after the arrival of his brother and his friends, there was so

much to take care of. First of all, Hermione, then Dobby.

Ron seemed to be strong, he took care of everything, especially to Hermione.

"It must have been terrible for you. It will take some time before you have processed the whole thing."

"But I can't stand it any longer, I don't want to hear her screaming all the time... It was... so..." Ron broke off, there were no words to

describe the pain he felt in that moment.

"I know Ron. At least I think I do. But Hermione is save now. She's laying in her bed and recovering very well. That should

give you strength."

"But it does not!" Ron responded defiantly. In the four hours, in which he was sitting there, he was obviously aware that everything went well.

and yet ... In the worst moment of her life, he could not help his best friend and that made him angry. How should his brother understand? He was not there, he had not heard the

screams.

"You can't imagine how I felt. I almost died, forced to just listen and not able to help. Bill, I could not do anything! They had taken her away and locked me. I failed, I could not

protect her, I ... " The last words were lost in a suppressed sob.

Quickly Ron lowered his glance. He was not the type to cry.

His brother moved his chair closer and put his arm around Ron's shoulders.

"Ron, you're not to blame. You brought her here and she lives. That's what counts. Sure, the next time will be difficult for all the three of you, you've been through so much, not like

other throughout their lives. But it will be better, I promise you. Do what you've always done, be there for her, help her through this difficult time, that's what friends are for."

"But she doesn't want help, ever. She always wants to do everything alone. What am I supposed to do? I bet, tomorrow morning, she'll act as if everything is o.k., even if she is in

pain." Ron looked at his brother for help.

"Don't worry. If she needs you, then you'll be there, that's what matters and she will be grateful, believe me." Bill could barely suppress a hearty yawn.

"I think I'll go back to Fleur, when she wakes up and I am not there, she'll worry. Everything o.k. with you?"

Ron nodded imperceptibly.

"I think so. Thank you." A rather thin smile twisted his lips, but it disappeared as quickly as it had come.

Bill patted his brother one last time on the shoulder and then left the kitchen, extinguishing the lights. Ron leaned back in his chin in

his hands and stared straight ahead.

* * *

Hermione stood motionless in the corner. While shaking her head, tears ran silently down her cheeks. That Ron was so touched she did not suspected.

He seemed so strong... If she had not listened involuntarily, he probably would have hidden his feelings forever. Ron was not the most talkative when it came to such thing. He

had suffered so much when she...

"_Oh Ron_." Hermione wiped the tears from her cheeks, which was completely pointless, since more and more were already rolling down her face.

How could he think he was the one to blame? The very person who had given her the most support in the last hours, by their strengh, their

mere presence, was now sitting completly broken in the room next door.

He felt helpless. For a brief moment, she smiled gently. How exactly he knew her. Of course, she would be up early and pretend to be o.k.

She would never show weakness. She had always been with guys, she had to fight against evil, so she could not afford weaknesses.

And now, she had to hear that her stubbornness and determination bothered him so much.

Just then she felt a kinship, a feeling of deep affection for the boy who wanted nothing more than her well-being and who chastised himself for not having helped her.

Her heartbeat had quickened and her already shaky knees seemed to buckle at any moment.

Never before she had felt for Ron as she did now. A feeling of love flew through her, a feeling which had slumber in her for a while, but was now to reveal.

Why had he ever said what troubled him so much? Certainly, for the same reason, why she could never admit to be in pain or to be too scared to fall asleep because of certain

nightmares.

A little longer she listened quietly into the next room, then she crept on tiptoe up the stairs and back to her room.

* * *

And... done. Well, what you think? I hope you liked it. One more chapter is on its way, so see you soon. Quen ;-)


	3. Chapter 3

The third and last chapter is now on. Enjoy reading!

**DISCLAIMER**: Not mine.

* * *

The next morning Hermione woke up pretty early. After she had lying awake for a long time last night, she had again fallen into a deep sleep.

But now she couldn't stay in bed any longer. Her back hurt like hell. Once she moved her arms and legs, she felt an incredible pain, so she needed to remain motionless for a

while.

"That will be a long day". She said to herself.

Hermione stood up very slowly and pulled on carefully the bathrobe of Fleur.

She walked like an old frail woman to the chair near her bed and began to rummage in her cloak. She was looking for her bag and

finally found it. After a few minutes, which felt like eternity to her, Hermione stood dressed in a sweater and fresh jeans in the middle of the room.

Cause she felt lightheaded, she went back to the bed, and sat on it to take a break. Suddenly someone knocked on the door.

"Hermione, can I come in?" Ron asked in a hushed voice. At first, Hermione wanted to go and open the door by herself,

but since every little movement hurt, she remained seated and asked him in.

* * *

Ron looked paler than usual. It seemed that he didn't sleep at all. Again, a lump formed in Hermione's throat.

"How are you?" Ron slowly walked to her.

She had already opened her mouth to say, as always, `good`, but this one time she swallowed her pride and just sighed noticeably.

"That bad?" Ron was shocked. "Then you better lie down again. I'll bring some breakfast for you, so you can stay here."

"No, no. I can't lie all the time, and I won't. I'm coming with you. Could you help me?" She held out her hand and smiled at him tentatively.

Clearly his face lit up. He smiled back and reached for her hand. Carefully, he helped her up and led her slowly to the kitchen.

Once there, they only saw Fleur standing near the stove, baking the eggs with her wand.

"Ahh,` Ermine, good to see you. 'Ow are you. I 'ope you are 'ungry." Fleur took the pan off the stove and placed it in the middle of the small wooden kitchen table.

Ron led Hermione to a chair and sat down opposite her.

"Thanks, Fleur." Hermione replied, filling her plate.

During the meal, she kept looking at Ron, who barely ate. Only now, she noticed the dark rings under his eyes. She felt so sorry for him.

But what could she do? Apparently he had felt better, after she had ask for help. He wanted to take care of her, and today he would get the opportunity.

* * *

When they had finished breakfast, Ron cleaned the table and looked at Hermione questioningly.

"Shall I accompany you back to your room?"

Hermione shook her head. "No, I would much rather go outside and grab some fresh air. If you .. I mean, if you like, maybe you could

go with me, I am not so secure on my feet, yet." Noticing the delight in his face, she knew she was doing the right thing and a small smile spread on her lips.

* * *

Some time later, they walked out the door and were immediately enveloped by a cool breeze.

Although the sun stood very low, it was surprisingly warm and after that horrible long winter it just felt good. They walked slowly to the nearby cliffs. Even from the house you

could hear the ocean roar. Finally arriving at the edge a few minutes later, they both just stood there. Hermione closed her eyes and was enjoying the moment.

Everything seemed so peaceful. The sea raged around the small rocks at the bottom of the cliffs, some birds were flying over them. A few clouds lined the path of the sun.

Hermione felt so save and secure, she leaned closer to Ron. Thinking she might feel a little dizzy, he put his arm around her shoulder, which she took as a sign to snuggle

up to him even more. Several minutes later Ron spoke up.

"Shall we sit down a moment?"

Hermione opened her eyes again. She blinked against the bright light briefly and then looked him straight in the eye.

For a few seconds the world seemed to stand still. Only now she realized where she was and with whom. The brunette felt so happy,

that she could have hugged Ron right on the spot, but both her aching limbs and her shyness held her back.

When Hermione just wanted to sit down, Ron held her.

"Wait." He pulled his wand from the jeans pocket and shouted, "Accio blanket."

Just a few seconds later, the red and black checkered blanket, which was normally lying on the back of the sofa, came flying through the little kitchen window.

When the blanket floated before them, Ron took it and spread it before them on the ground. After he had helped Hermione taking place, he sat down beside her. Hermione

lay down immediately, because sitting was even more uncomfortable than lying. Ron looked at her and then met her eyes.

"You look tired, lie down next to me." said Hermione a little shy.

Ron seemed to think for a moment, but then he slumped backwards and stretched his arms and legs.

"You're right, I'm really tired."

Hermione turned her head in his direction. "You didn't sleep well, did you?"

Ron just shook his head. The expression on his face was hard and painful. This time, Hermione acted faster than she thought about it.

She moved a little closer to him and reached for his hand.

Ron looked surprised at her. Then both his features and his whole body were relaxing.

"You should sleep a little. I also could use some more rest. " Hermione said, before closing her eyes.

Ron looked a little longer on the so-fragile-looking girl next to him, then he closed his eyes as well, still holding her hand.

* * *

About an hour later, Fleur went in search of Ron and Hermione. She wanted to tell them, that there would be lunch soon.

When she reached the cliffs, she saw the two lying asleep on her sofa blanket. Ron had rolled on his side, Hermione was lying snuggled right behind him.

Her arm wrapped around his chest, her hand tied with his. Fleur smiled at the couple knowingly and sneaked off, as if it would be necessary.

When the two of them were awaking two hours later, Hermione felt a little better, despite the uncomfortable position, and Ron felt much better, thanks to a dreamless sleep.

* * *

So, that's it. I hope you liked it, It would not hurt to tell me in a little review, would it?

See you, Quen.


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